Altogether now. . . AWWWWWW! It’s he/she/it adorable?!?! And look it even comes with a little chain to strap onto your purse or man-bag. Just too precious I tells ya but wait, this baby seal is more than meets the eye. It hides something sinister in its bum and if you have and semblance of decency, you will not hit the jump to find out what it is (go ahead, you know you want to).

Bum groper on the right has totally been PWND. Yes, this baby seal hides two electrodes that discharges bolts of energy Emperor style to any would be attackers, PEW PEW PEW! It’s powered by a single battery but output is only a pitiful 195 volts, not exactly enough to leave your enemies writhing in pain but definitely enough to make them say “ouchy”.

Only $14.41 at Strapya.