At a press conference held on July 30th, 2007, Nintendo Company, Limited announced its development of a new title for the Wii home entertainment console: Wii Life.
“We wanted to create a fully interactive, engaging game that the whole family can enjoy,” said game developer Shigeru Miyamoto. “With Wii Life there’s something for everyone – from little Billy’s secret aspirations to become an interpretive dancer to dad’s unquenchable lust for extramarital affairs, there’s no limit to the virtual possibilities!”
The game is designed to reflect an ideal life for the player in all respects. By simply creating your virtual self (or Mii), an entire world of opportunities opens itself up –whether it be a need for more exercise, an interest in the arts, or simply a quiet meal with your Mii family.
“Well I think it sounds great,” said 32-year-old stock broker Sean Jennings. “To be able to go to the gym, attend my high school reunion, and watch my daughter’s softball games all from the comfort of my office. Absolutely incredible.”
“And hey, I can even make my son not gay!” Jennings added.
The game will play like most other Wii titles, using the motion sensor remote control to mimic physical actions. There was also talk of possible addons in the future, like a Wii toothbrush to keep your Mii hygienically fit, and a Wii toilet to ease the burden of bathroom breaks.
“The real beauty of the game is that it never ends,” said Miyamoto. “All the mistakes and hardships you endure in the game will follow you forever. In fact, the only real way to lose the game is to commit suicide.”
“Actually, there is an unlockable Seppuku mini-game,” added Miyamoto. “But that’s only after you’ve found all 150 hidden Wii Life Stars.”
The game was originally planned to hit shelves in the final quarter of 2009, but was later pushed back to 2024.
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4 Responses to “Nintendo unviels WiiLife”
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Say something incredibly witty, insightful, or l33t
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August 5th, 2007 at 11:43 am
at first i was all like WTF?! but the i was like LULZ
August 10th, 2007 at 8:31 am
wow, I think it’s sad that I thought this was actually real for the most part.
August 20th, 2007 at 9:45 am
HAHAHA!
October 30th, 2007 at 6:34 am
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